Real Army Life

As I grow closer to friends at this military installation, I am beginning to realize the heart-wrenching realities of Active Duty military life. As a Reserves spouse, the extent of my farewells with Dan has been him driving off into the early morning with me waving a tearful goodbye from the shelter of my doorway. But here. Oh, here, it is so different. The way I understand it (and it seems to vary from company to company or battalion to battalion, or even brigade to brigade, I'm sure), you get a tentative date -- or sometimes a tentative WEEK!! -- and then you just wait for the call, saying that it's time to go. 

For the unlucky ones who know only which week they're going, the families are on edge all week; waking up, getting all dressed up for a farewell that may not come for days! And once they do get the dreaded call...well, we've all seen the pictures of the families and their good-byes. And always, there's the chance that even at the airfield they could go through all those tears, the words of encouragement from one spouse to another, the promises of a phone call at every possible opportunity, the words of somber advice from a father to his son, a long embrace from a mother to her newly weaned baby girl; a wife, fighting back tears so her Soldier can rest assured that she'll be fine while he's gone, that she'll take care of everything at home so that he can focus on his mission; they endure all these infuriatingly emotional moments, only to be called to attention one final time. And then learn that they are to be sent home because of some unexpected delay!

As if that's not hard enough -- and I know this one from experience, because it's true of Reserves families too -- in the weeks, and even months, leading up to the inevitable deployment, spouses begin bickering, picking at each other for inconsequential grievances. Pushing away from one another in some subconscious attempt to protect themselves from the emotional pain to come. I know marriages are in trouble in this country, but somehow military marriages seem to be under so much pressure right now.

My heart is heavy today for deploying military members, and their families. I think a lot of people are surprised that we're still sending troops out in mass quantities. Don't be deceived by the President's media. Yes. I said it. The media are in his pocket and he has them wrapped around his little finger, spouting off lies at every turn. (And if you think the military is the only thing he's lying about, you are sorely mistaken, but I don't want this to become a political rant.) The point is Soldiers, Marines, Airmen, and Sailors are still being routinely deployed whether civilian media reports it or not.

Pray for a Soldier (or other service member) today, if you think of it. And if you know one, show kindness to a military spouse. I'm so incredibly grateful for the many friends I had while Dan was gone and I was in Murphysboro with our boys. We felt so loved and encouraged from all sides.